WE ARE ALL EQUAL - SUBMISSION

The New Living Translation best captures the position I seek to elaborate on:

“…you husbands must give honour to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life…” 1 Peter 3: verse 7

During my marriage classes, I was astonished to not only hear but also see how many times people pulled my wife to the side (OR shout above every and anybody) that “SHE MUST BE A SUBMISSIVE WIFE!!” Now, for better context, I married a ‘modern’ woman (She wants to make as much money as I do if not more and carry the family if need be). Considering the fact that we were carrying out our nuptials at the Church she literally grew up in, I think I can say I got their opinions to a degree.

After listening to other Christian couples and some pretty wise singles, I have gathered that this “Wives submit to your husbands” gist is not just a discussion that pertains to her church. In fact, the bible actually repeats this message on a number of occasions, as there is a plethora of bible verses on the topic of wives and their expected submission. (Ephesians 5: 22- 24; 1 Peter 3:1-22; Genesis 3:16; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 3:18; 1 Timothy 2:11-12; Titus 2:5…)

What is really intriguing is, the bible does not outrightly express that husbands should submit to their wives!!

This is why I find 1 Peter 3:7-8 very interesting. Unlike the expressed cases of submission as readers should submit to every secular authority, or slaves should be submissive to their masters and of course wives to their husbands, the message for husbands is more inferred than expressed in this verse.

I am a newly wed so best believe I am still learning myself. The main reason I sought my wife out and pursued her was because she is honestly smarter than I am. It would be a shame and counter progressive I must add, if after all that chasing and toasting, I finally get my heart’s desire, only for my next move to be to relegate her and her brilliant mind to the “back of the bus”. Granted, she will have to learn to play in the same sandbox, and resist the urge to do all things without consulting me (a conversation would suffice). For peace and understanding in form of perfect harmony, I too must learn to be SUBMISSIVE to her. This is by showing her all the respect she deserves, talking through everything, learning to take constructive criticism, ask for advice and follow through on agreements.

I do not like double standards, so we must do as we say (act as we say and not just expect the other person to do what we say and not as we behave). My fellow brothers and daddies, it is really not a big deal to submit to your better half!! Forget or more like shelve that male honour/ego somewhere out of sight, like a pair of shoes or clothes and only put it on (if you must) when you want to step out or relate with other people but with your wife, forget that the thing exists as it might hinder the flow of love and harmony in your home.

Remember, the Bible clearly calls us out to submit to each other as believers, and our wives are the closest people to us, therefore, being a believer herself, we should obey the Bible in its entirety; loving her as Christ loved the Church and submitting one to another.

Finally, we should remember as men that we are leaders of our homes to establish order. The head (the husband) cannot function without the neck (the wife). Even more importantly, we must remember that a leader is really called to serve and serving is submission.

Song: Gracefully Broken - Tasha Cobbs